Madrid (Atletico), we have a problem.
It would appear that Chelsea is currently sending out an S.O.S. to Atletico in the form of an audacious swoop for arguably Europe's hottest striker at the moment, Falcao. And, if my sources are to be believed, this is going to be a done deal way before the January transfer window opens.
All this because a certain 50 million pound ex-Atletico golden boy has been misfiring of late ('late' here carrying a definition of being the past 2 years).
If (or when) Torres does go, it would be a shame. This is because I genuinely like Nando as a striker. Even from his Liverpool days. On his day, he can strike the fear of God into any of the game's best centrebacks (ask Vidic) with his burst of pace, turnings and killer instinct.
However, most Chelsea fans have been waiting patiently for such a day to arrive. This is because Torres has simply not been performing, whether as against his old standards or even an average striker of today's game. Only the most myopic (or blind) of Chelsea fans would not be alarmed at the number of games he has registered without registering his name in the goal column.
For a striker of his stature, reputation and price, his returns have not been encouraging. And hence, us now facing the very real prospect of him being sold at cut-price as a flop to fund the transfer kitty for a red-hot Colombian.
All hope is not lost yet. There are still a couple of gameweeks till January. Still enough time for Nando to make the last few days of 2012 really count. Perhaps even change Roman's mind about selling him. It's going to be a (really really) long shot, but still a shot.
Thus, if I was in the position to be giving Torres (or RDM or Roman) some personal advice, here would be 3 ways the Torres conundrum can be solved:
(1) Lose Weight
At first I thought it was just me, or that someone had accidentally set my TV graphics setting to Wide mode, but after seeing other players on the same screen, I began to realise that Nando has been looking more and more chunky of late.
The Torres of old at Liverpool was fast, nippy and had the physique of someone who was tough but yet nimble and agile. Today's Torres looks like he couldn't even chase an ice-cream truck. I don't know what the dietitians or fitness coaches at Chelsea are doing (or not doing), but they certainly do not seem to be earning their keep judging by Torres' physique.
Perhaps RDM thought the best way to replace the battering ram Drogba was to recreate another bulky, bruising centreforward by transforming a once lithe, agility-based player like Nando into a hulking centre-forward. Well, it's not working. A far simpler option already exists, and that is to recall the Belgian beast, aka Lukaku, back from his loan at West Brom.
Torres's whole game is (or was) built on searing pace and catching defenders and keepers napping with darting, strong runs and sublime finishing. When he bulks up, he loses almost 50% of the ingredients of what made him such a feared forward in the first place.
So the message I would give Nando and everyone else monitoring his physical progress at Chelsea: STOP giving him the protein shakes or cut back on the paellas and start him on an all-vege-and-fruits diet. Torres needs to trim the excess fat, increase the tempo of his core and explosiveness exercises and generally get back to his once-agile frame in order to gain 50% of his old game back.
(2) Stop Trying To Defend
Many a times this season I've seen Torres as far back down the centre line trying to win the ball back and making horrendous tackles. Torres, or whoever is in charge of tactical discipline at Chelsea, must remember that he is a centreforward, NOT a midfielder. Torres must STOP dropping too deep and getting involved (and wasting precious stamina) on harrying the opposition from building up their game.
Torres should stop trying to make Mikel and Ramires redundant because they are the ones who should be closing down the midfield and winning back balls. Torres should instead learn to just hang around the shoulder of the last defender or actively mess about with his opponent's backlines by just constantly moving across their back four.
There's a reason why sometimes strikers or attacking midfielders do that. They sense their position being challenged (when they're off form or rarely given a start) and they take every single game minute as an opportunity to show the gaffer, fans and owner that they are committed to the cause and will fight hard for their jobs. Essentially, he knows he ain't scoring so psychologically, his subconscious figures that he must contribute in some other (unwanted) way to keep his place in the squad. Sadly, all this dropping deep and getting involved in midfield is Torres's attempt to keep his job.
Wrong strategy if you ask me. This is because when he's wasting too much energy trying to win balls, he's not in prime attacking positions and he is not a natural distributor. As such, it is akin to a sales person (with low sales figures) desperately trying to keep his job by attempting to repair broken photocopy machines, make coffee for the CEO or try to balance the company books.
Don't.
Just focus and do what you've been paid to do. Score goals. Get into attacking positions. Always be there when the opportunity arises. And then pounce.
Which brings us to my next and final solution ...
(3) Start Being More Selfish
He has to start being more selfish. All the great strikers are selfish. They rarely give away an opportunity at a strike just because another teammate is running into a good position.
Of late, due to his lack of confidence, Torres has been trying to set up play, create assists and pass the ball sideways when he should be slamming and taking shots from all around and inside the box. Again, this is an issue of confidence (or the lack thereof) where he does not dare to take too many shots for fear of failing but instead preferring to set up teammates so that the final buck (if the chance doesn't get converted) does not stop with him.
The only way Torres can get out of a barren scoring run is to score more. The only way to score more is to take more shots. The only way to take more shots is to hog opportunities and STOP giving it away. He should STOP trying those nifty little backheel passes, one touch set-ups or constantly scouring the forward line for a Mata or Hazard to run onto his pass. Instead, he should channel all the focus of a guided missile towards the goal and only the goal.
He should learn that it is OK to be occasionally cursed and sworn at by your teammates (and fans) as long as you elicit delirious celebration and cheers from them when you do score from your numerous selfish shots on target (as rat-face Suarez).
SUMMARY
Nando, if you're reading this, the above tips may save your Chelsea career. No matter how exciting the prospect of having Falcao line up for us may be, I have my faith and support in you. Follow the 3 tips above and you'll at least get the chance to ensure Falcao isn't a 100% starter.
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