The Hazards of Time-Wasting

Unless you've been living under a coconut shell for the past 2 days or have no interest in English football (which, according to my books translate to being someone who lives under a coconut shell), you would have seen the pictures, watched the video and read countless articles of our 30 million quid blue eyed Belgian Boy, Eden Hazard kicking a ball from under the (fat) body of a Swansea ball-boy who took it upon himself to help his team "time-waste". 

According to reports, Hazard will be slapped with the minimum 3 game suspension (for a violent misconduct straight red) which, according to the FA, would be increased after they are done deliberating on the incident. 

Now, I am a Hazard fan, and yet I say bring the 3 plus plus ban on. Hazard made a (wrong) decision by lashing out, he should now take it on the chin like a man. You reap what you sow. Both him and the club shouldn't appeal. 

A few games out should give him the opportunity to recharge his batteries, reflect on life, take anger management courses or maybe partake in some community service like volunteering to be a ball-boy in some pub or Sunday league. If he plays his cards right, he could actually reap benefit from this incident to boost his image, publicity and reputation. 

His PR team / agent, if savvy, should now organize school or University visits by Hazard to talk about the pressures of the game and how it affects people and their temper. Maybe write a (very short) book / article (perhaps calling it "How To Kick That Ball, Boy"). Maybe team up with Nike or Adidas to endorse a line of high tech sports apparel for ball-boys with special rib cage padding. Maybe record a duet with that ball-boy to release a catchy Euro-techno song about the hazards (pun intended) of collecting stray balls. Maybe even go into deep reading (preferably Nietzsche, who knows when you'd suddenly find yourself debating with Joey Barton on twitter). Learn English cooking (though that would take up all of 15 minutes of his time). Team up with EA Sports to add a FIFA 13 patch where pressing a certain sequence of buttons would allow players to execute "a Hazard" and start assaulting people outside the field of play. The possibilities are endless. 

Many a time, boundless opportunities arise from a fall, most of them which wouldn't have been there had the fall not taken place initially. There is truth in the old saying "it is only through failure that we can attain future successes". I shall stop now before this turns into one of those self-help status updates on Facebook that many are fond of quoting (or plagiarising). 

So to both Hazard haters and fans alike: Stop with the over-analysing of this incident. Hazard was wrong. He shouldn't have kicked the ball from under the boy and now he's going to get his due punishment. Finito. This incident does not turn Hazard (or the ball-boy) into a villain overnight. Hazard also has not turned into a bad player overnight. Hazard will not also be just remembered for this incident in time to come. 

To Hazard (and here I am deluding myself that the lad would actually be reading this): Use this (suspension) time-out wisely. Reflect. Ponder. Grow. Bounce back harder. Become stronger. If you ever need any role model at this point in time, there's none more apt than a particular Frenchman and his infamous kung-fu kick, which should have ended his football career but instead catapulted him into legendary status when he came back hungrier, stronger and calmer than before. 

Frankly Speaking

Oops, he's done it again (for the umpteenth time).

In last night's 4-0 rout of Stoke City at the Britannia, Fat Frankie (a moniker he earned in his days as a Hammer) got in amongst the goals. Whilst some would argue that it was from a spotkick, none can argue his instrumental influence and role in that landslide victory. Pulling the strings in the engine room, endlessly running about and providing a calm centre of authority from which the creative likes of Hazard and Mata launched wave after wave of Blue attacks from, Lamps put in (again, for the umpteenth time) a shift that was consistently above average in all areas of the field. 

And so has been the story of his 12 years plus of service to Chelsea. When he joined the club in 2001, he was a no-frills, box-to-box midfielder who had great stamina, superb positioning sense and a keen eye for goal from a late run into the box. Today, amidst all the talk of his imminent departure, he is still a no-frills, box-to-box midfielder who has great stamina, superb positioning sense and a keen eye for goal from a late run into the box. The only difference being that in the 12 years or so of doing the same thing week in, week out, Frank became an integral spine of a team that has won a couple of league titles, several domestic cups and an European Cup.

Many a Stamford Bridge faithful strongly believe that a picture of Lamps kissing his badge ought to appear in the dictionary next to the word "consistency". Looking back at his track record, one can't argue with them, despite his languid demeanour and apparent laidback air he brings about him. 

Lampard may not be capable of Braveheart-levels of inspirational drive from midfield as Stevie G, may not snarl or compete as fiercely as Rooney, may not embody the stubborn British air of never-say-die as his Captain John Terry, may not possess the technical abilities of his more gifted companions such as Wilshere, Scholes or even Joe Cole, but he is undoubtedly one of the few complete English footballers around in ways none of the few aforesaid can match. 

He isn't exceptionally good in one particular area of play or skill, but he is slightly above average in all departments.  One can argue that it isn't hard to be consistently above average. But to do that in all areas of your game, every game, for 12 over years, is no easy feat. Lamps has done it for as long as he has been a professional footballer.

As such, it is easy to see why he is viewed as a Stamford Bridge legend by many. It is even easier to see why many a Chelsea fan has been left disillusioned by the club's refusal to agree terms with him on a new contract.

From the club's point of view, he is 34 and pushing into his twilight years. It's purely business. They reckoned that the wages spent securing the services of an ageing legend would be financially more prudent if pumped into securing the services of a couple of brighter young stars. It makes for practical economic sense but they have seriously underestimated his non-playing value here, in my opinion. 

Last May when we won the Champions League, I wrote about the need for a reinvention and the breaking up of the old guard. In my post-celebratory article, I called for a subtle phasing out of the 5 stalwarts as we seek to rebuild a new generation of a sustainable young empire. From that 5, Drogba has gone to the Far East to seek greener pastures. Cech still looks like he has a couple of years left at the top thanks to his goalkeeping position being less affected by the ravages of age. Ashley Cole, a mercenary-at-heart, appeared the most poised to leave either due to a lack of new contract agreed upon or a lucrative deal being offered by either a Gulf team, PSG, City, Anzhi, the far East or the MLS. 

It was in Lamps and Terry that I had hoped who would transition from on-field legends to coaching or even boardroom heroes. I had hoped that both of them would accept slightly lesser game time but still continue being retained in the first team for the wealth of experience and leadership they would be able to impart upon the younger ones, playing a Giggs or Scholes type role. 

Sadly, not everyone at the club shared this view and as Lampard's current predicament suggests, Chelsea's way or running the club still appears very short term and with little regard for empire-building. By signing Lampard on for another couple of seasons, the club would no doubt incur some heavy wage bill. They may argue there the cost-value-analysis in such a situation does not make sense. However, such thinking is myopic to the value which they can't quantify in terms of points or minutes on the pitch. It is his character and personality that they would be essentially paying for.

In my opinion, Chelsea's inability to recognize the value of having an experienced head with the rare ability to be ultra-consistent over a massive period of time would be a massive loss to the club. A player with the rare combination of Lampard's work ethic, attitude, intelligence, experience, drive and personality comes once in a couple of blue moons. No amount of trainers, coaches, managers, sports psychologists, motivators or fitness trainers would be able to replicate the impact Frankie would be able to have on the younger players everyday in the dressing room, training grounds and on the pitch.

And that, frankly speaking, is what's troubling me. 

For these reasons, I hereby join in the millions of fans of this phenomenal legend in pleading to the club: give him a new contract, for frank's sake.