RESULTS PREDICTION: Gameweek 28

I have been summoned....

... By the King (Of this Corner) no less...

... To gaze into my mystic bowl of prediction ... and study the magical formation of the ganja leaves ... which, to the naked eye, is nothing more than residue from a pothead's session ... but which ... to a trained Oracle like myself ... are messages from the future ... capable of foretelling ... what has yet come to pass ...

... but until I get my hands on those essential equipment, let me just play 'ting-tong-tiang' and randomly guess EPL football scores for this weekend. Enjoy!

Bolton v QPR
A game between 2 struggling teams. Highly unpredictable. Potential bore-fest with game being slugged out in the middle.

Prediction: 0-0

Aston Villa v Fulham
The Villans have the worst defensive record from set-pieces and Darren Bent is out on a long injury lay-off. Fulham are having a surprisingly good run with their unfancied (and some of them mediocre) players playing high tempo, attacking football. If Dembele, Dempsey, Johnson and Pogrebnyak hit form, the Villans may have trouble on their hands

Prediction: 0-2

Chelsea v Stoke City
AVB-less Chelsea's first EPL match post his departure. Stoke have been quite sold recently in a season where they have been plagued by inconsistencies. Stoke has the physical edge and may well up the tempo of their hard-hitting long ball game to test a fresh-from-injury Captain Marvel - I mean, Captain JT, to the max. A likely draw.

Prediction: 1-1


Sunderland v Liverpool
Sunderland under Martin O'Neill have been solid of late, but Sessegnon's non-participation due to suspension may well rob them of a potent creative force in the last quarter of the field. All Mackem hopes rest on young McClean's abilities to tear down the wing to supply the crosses / shots. Liverpool need to convert their many chances if they are to take something credible out of this season. Suarez appears a paler shade of himself post-Handshakegate and Andy Carroll still lumbers around like a drunkard looking for the loo on Bigg Market. A Sunderland surprise win may be on the cards.

Prediction: 1-0


Wolves v Blackburn
Relegation dog-fight between 2 underperforming teams who could surprise neutrals on a good day. The Yak would certainly relish having a go at the flimsy defence at the wolves' den. Still, Wolves have a dangerous bite in the form of Doyle and Fletcher upfront. Potential high-scoring draw but I think this may be the game Wolves turn the corner...

Prediction: 3-2

Everton v Tottenham
A resurgent Toffees take on a Spurs team still licking their wounds from the recent hidings they received from the big boys. Tough game to call, but I expect 'Arry's boys to try and cement the 3rd CL spot with a hard-fought win over the Blues of Liverpool.

Prediction: 1-2


Man Utd v West Brom
Still buoyed by their giant-killing effort from last week, the Brummies' good patch may be halted by United. The Mancs will be hoping to begin their customary season run-in with a good string of results beginning with this one.

Prediction: 4-0

Swansea v Man City
While the Swans have been losing some of their early season swagger, they are still a very tough team to beat at home. City seem to have lost their ability to trash teams by 4 or 5 goals every other week but may have enough firepower to grab 3 points at the Liberty.

Prediction: 0-1

Norwich v Wigan
I can't see how a struggling Wigan can get past the solid Canaries who seem to be on song at the moment.

Prediction: 2-0

Arsenal v Newcastle
Potential cracker of a match. If the Gunners can snuff out the Magpies' supply line as well as Sunderland did last weekend, it could be yet another frustrating weekend for the Premier League's feared Senegal duo of Cisse-and-Ba. However, I expect the Gunners to be the ones attempting to dictate play and be on the offensive with the red-hot RVP leading the line. A close and high-scoring win for the Gunners, methinks.

Prediction: 3-2

Liverpool v Everton
The 2nd match in a week for both these teams may put a slight dampener on this game. However, the tempo will always be raised for this local derby. Expect lots of bookings, some injuries but not a lot of goals in this one.

Prediction: 1-1